Fowl Bowl

Hey homos. This is a press release. I'm organizing the inaugural Fowl Bowl.

Chickens will be fighting other chickens.

It is tentatively scheduled for early September in the parking lot of that Boston Market across the street from South Hills Village.

I don't even know anyone who's ever been to a Boston Market restaurant.

Is it even a restaurant? It just seems like a franchised deli.

Check that out. Game #16. I come in, throw one pass. Touchdown.

It was like in Rudy where they run the option play that pisses the henchman from Richie Rich off because they want Rudy to take a snap on defense.

Cash For Backup QBs

Just got back from Day 2 of Steelers training camp. Maybe it was Day 3. I don't even know what day it is. I never sleep.
Tomorrow is Wednesday, so that's free shit at Arby's.

I was just watching game tape from that game up in Green Bay during the Super Bowl XL run.
All I see is a W in the Result column.


I was 3-0.
What happens when Big Joke comes back? He leads my team on a 0-3 run. And it's not a coincidence that the team started winning again when NFC Central teams were in our path. I was in that division for 20 years. I was pulling the strings with my leadership.


Since Vick was in jail, I've become the best black QB in the NFL, probably the world.

I'm starting a cockfighting ring. I won't be stupid and make it public knowledge on the internet and shit.
This is gonna be low-key. I held my first match last night.


Marty the Chicken of Pensblog fame. Pensblog sucks.


Marty went talon-to-talon with Jerry "The Beast" Feast.

After three rounds, it went to the cards. Marty squeaked by with a split-decision.
Jerry was pissed.

Hey, check out this sweet video of some hot chicks.

Fags. You just got BatchRoll'd.
Batch out.

Batch Attack Is Back

Yo, what's up. I was injured last season. So I invented Twitter.

It feels good to be back on the football field again, even though it's hot as balls in Latrobe. It didn't help matters none when I was given control of the offense and the atmospheric temperature worldwide went up 0.7 degrees. It ain't global warming. It's me running a two-minute drill.

President Obama called me after the practice to congratulate me.
Black is thicker than blood.

That's a big contract you have, Heath.
The longest reception of your career? 86 yards for a TD.
Don't forget who threw you the rock.


six

Coach Mike Tomlin has been glancing at me knowingly the past couple days.
He knows the first couple years of Ben's career have been a fluke.
Black is thicker than blood.


Finally, I wanted to address the current eBay squabble. If you're buying a Charlie Batch autographed headset-and-clipboard combo, make sure you get a certificate of authenticity with that shit.

Batch out.